On April 11, 2021 I woke up and clearly heard the word, “SUICIDE” and I literally couldn’t breathe before fully waking up. I fervently started praying for everyone that I could possibly think of. I prayed that whoever this was for wouldn’t give into that life stealing spirit, that robs us of so many loved ones very lives. After interceding I felt ‘finished’ and let out a breath of contentment.

One day, when I was looking into American Indian/Alaska Natives suicide rates, I found that we have the highest suicide rate than any other racial/ethnic group in the United States, up to three times higher than any other. This shouldn’t be! God is going to use the Native Americans/Alaska Natives in such a powerful way in these end times that the enemy is literally trying to destroy them, one by one. 

I feel led to briefly share a few stories of some of the people that I knew personally that had sadly taken their own life. As hard as this is to share, these were real people, not just a shared statistic. If this post helps one person, then it was worth it to stir up the remembrance of each one of them.

The earliest memory I have of a friend committing suicide, was of a childhood neighbor. This young man practically lived at our house during my early teen years. He was very quiet until we got to really know him, and then he shared everything with us. Even sad things, like people at school making fun of him. 

One time, this young man gave me a CD by one of my favorite bands. He smiled ear to ear when he gave it to me and it was so sweet. He liked to just hang out with our family. I remember how he used to just sit at our dining room table and watch my mom cook. One time she gave him her meal because he looked so longingly at it. He was not only my brother’s best friend, but had grown to be a part of our family as well. 

Then, one day we heard sirens wailing as they drove by our house. I walked up to our living room window and when the emergency vehicles drove by, my hand was shaking so bad that my peas were rattling all around my plate. I just knew something bad had happened to him. My mom and sister walked down the street and came back confirming what we already knew deep inside. Our young friend had taken his life, by starting a car in his garage and falling asleep…..forever.

This really messed me up as a teenager. I remember crying my makeup off all over his dad’s suit jacket during the funeral. I kept asking why the church people couldn’t raise him back up to life again. His dad just cried silent tears down his cheeks and looked away. My brother’s life was never the same again. We all felt such a huge loss from our friend taking his young  life and ending it forever on this earth. 

I also can’t help but remember one of my cousin’s same tragic ending. She had an outgoing personality but struggled with child-hood trauma and addictions. She left a young son alone in this world when she stabbed herself and ended her own life. I wasn’t close to her, but I did feel the loss in our family line as did her beautiful twin sister. The loss is still felt in our family to this day with never ending if only’s, filling the airways for all her future generations left behind. 

Then there was our neighbor and friend. He was a single dad and had three children that he was raising alone. We hung out with his family all the time, as our daughters were best friends. Then when we moved away and saw them a lot less. They still came out for Thanksgiving and just to visit. I remember as he was leaving our house one evening he pulled me aside and asked me if I would take his children. He told me he had money in the bank and everything. I was concerned and told him so but he just brushed it off and that was the last time that I saw him. I found out that his son found him in the bathtub after coming home from school. He had shot himself in the shower but didn’t  pass on until later, in the ambulance. Once again, we were all shattered with this horrible tragedy. I tried to get custody of his children but the state gave them to relatives in the village that their mom was from. We grieved for years after that painful incident and the hurt still affects us to this day.

 

One of the most shocking and painful memories of someone that I knew that had committed suicide was of my childhood best friend. When met in second grade. I remember drawing with a group of girls and this girl’s artwork impressed me. I saw her off and on throughout the years, but we had drifted apart. In high school we met up again and set her up as a blind date with another friend. Even though their relationship never hit it off, we became close friends again after that night. We hung out constantly and were inseparable during our teen years. We moved in next door to each other as young adults, and had our first daughters within the same year. We both even named our girls with names that started with K’s. 

After we each had a few kids, we ended up drifted apart again. She moved to the Aleutian chain and I stopped drinking and was starting to get into the things of God. We didn’t have a whole lot in common anymore but would talk every once in a while. Then I got a call from her brother. He tearfully told me that this woman  had killed herself. I was in shock and disbelief. Her boyfriend had recently died after a bad fall and she had a really hard time with his death. I heard she suffocated herself. This was another horrible loss of life that should have never happened. She left three children. 

Another very sad life that was lost was another cousin of mine. After crying wolf for years that he was going to harm himself, he ended up stabbing himself to death after a long battle with mental illness. This young man never learned to live before he died all too soon. 

Lastly, my nephew took his life a while back. He had spent several years in jail and when he finally got out he sadly started using again. He was found sitting in a chair positioned toward the ocean, wearing a pair of sunglasses still connected to the bedsheet that he strangled himself with. What a loss! He was handsome and amazingly talented young man and he is gone from our earthly lives, forever.

I shared each of these heart wrenching, tragic, stories so that others could be aware of this horrible life-draining spirit that comes to steal, kill, and destroy. These attributes of our enemy are mentioned in John 10:10. I remember many times when I was tempted to take my own life. 

One time while out drinking with some friends I recall using a razor and slicing my own wrists. I remember watching my blood drip down the tub and when one of my friends saw me she wrapped my wrists up and pulled me out of that pit of despair. It was only a surface cut but it could have been much worse. There have been many other times I was tempted to end my life so I am sure others have had visits from the spirit of suicide as well. I noticed that these demonic spirits mostly succeed in their evil plots when there is alcohol or drugs impairing the mind. 

We must pray and declare that suicide not be aloud to manifest in our families lives any longer. We can pray and loose the blood of Jesus for protection. 

One time I felt a huge call to pray for a family member with big time fervency!  I ran into my prayer closet and cried out for them until the burden  lifted. Much later when I finally felt it was finished I got up and felt much better. Later, when shared this with a relative they immediately asked when this had happened. I told them and they shared how the person that I was praying for was very depressed and admitted to battling suicide during that exact time frame. 

We need to learn how to hear God clearly and be obedient when He tells us to pray for somebody. Suicide really affects and hurts the loved ones that are left behind. In some of the studies I read, some other family members and loved ones took their life after losing a close loved one through suicide. If you personally are battling depression or suicidal thoughts,  please let someone know about it so that we/they can help you. If you would like us to pray with or for you then please contact us and a member of our team will pray for you right away. 

“Lord I pray for the one reading this right now. Whatever the situation is for them, I pray for healing and restoration. I pray that the enemy’s plans for them will not prosper, but fail. I pray Your plans come into fruition and speak victory in every area of their life, in JESUS NAME, Amen.” 

March forward mighty soldier!